SPEAKING OUT

Blessed, Today is an important day. It is not set aside on any calendar, there is no logo, no branding, no name. But it is an important day. It started with one woman speaking about her experience on Twitter this morning. And then another joined. And then another. And another. More and more and more stories were shared. People who have never spoken of it before found their voice today. It is beautiful. And entirely devastating. I have been an active part of the conversation and would like to share my little bit of support with whoever needs it or wants it. Please keep sharing, keep speaking, keep fighting! I did a series of anti rape/ protest photographs last year based on the 1-in-9 image of rape survivors, supporters, and protesters with their mouths bound shut, symbolizing the silence imposed on rape survivors and their experiences. Below are those photos as well as some tweets from this morning's voices. The models are members of the Tshedisa Artists in Residence group, a collective of visual, performative and musical artists. The Tshedisa Institute offers innovative strategies in medicine, wellness, creative arts therapy, psychological services and HIV/AIDS treatment, prevention and care. It is a centre where health care providers, as well as the community can safely address the physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Their collective community wellness is diverse. Tshedisa is a place of healing; from the beautiful gardens to the many service they offer. The Artists in Residence put together shows which deal with wide themes which affect our communities and present new and creative ways of engaging with both the inner and outer aspects of being an active member of the world we live in. Search the hashtag #SpeakingOutSA on Twitter to read more from the discussions from this day. Thanks to everyone that participated, whether by modelling, sharing their own experiences, engaging in constructive conversation, or just baring witness to the huge stride we made as a whole today. We will not stop fighting. We will not stop engaging. We will not be silenced.

Hooker T. Washington ‏@RiaLaDona Our society is so bent on controlling women. Policing women. To the point that when we are violated, somehow, the blame falls on us. No one wants to be "that girl." No one wants to be "the one that was raped." Victims are not to blame for rape. RAPISTS CAUSE RAPE. Maybe he should have been taught self control.Or maybe he should have just kept his dick and his hands to himself. I was raped by a man. That decided he was entitled to me. I didn't get raped by the beer I drank beforehand. I didn't get raped by a dress. The fact that he felt he was entitled to me is why I was raped.

Wamuwi Mbao ‏@WamuwiM What would it mean for this country to have a meaningful dialogue about rape, outside of activist circles? #SpeakOutSA. Men are being called to account by our rape stats. We are complicit in various ways. #SpeakOutSA. SA has too long been gripped by an errant masculinity that violently arrogates control over womyn's bodies. #SpeakOutSA

Michelle Solomon: @mishsolomon. Eastern Cape based journalist. Media researcher and aspiring academic. Rape survivor rights activist and feminist. Follow me here: http://journoactivist.com/ Grahamstown, South Africa. Let's reframe, shall we? Rather than talking about rape survivors did or didn't do, let's talk about rapists *did* do. *Trigger warning*. Let's talk about my rape, since it's a perfect example: I was consensually black out drunk when I was raped. My friend came to my house and I was really drunk. I passed out on the couch. What did my friend the rapist do? My rapist carried me to bed. I was passed out, presumably limp. He undressed me. I woke up enough to tell him 'no'. I passed out again. Again *TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING* for all survivors reading the next few tweets. So, I was passed out, right. *Completely* wasted. My friend the rapist undressed me, while I'm (presumably) limp on my bed. What does my friend the rapist do with my limp, unresponsive passed-out-drunk body? He puts his fingers in my vagina. No response from me. (Since I was passed out at the time, this is all conjecture.) I'm guessing when that didn't work, he decided "well, hey, why not?" He then got naked himself. Where am I? Still passed out and completely drunk on my bed. What does he do? My friend the rapist puts his penis in vagina. How do I know? His thrusting partially woke me from my passed-out-drunk state. I remember thinking "what the FUCK?" and freaking out a little before blacking out again. But back to him. He continued to fuck my limp body. Actually, let's get that right. He continued to rape my limp passed-out-drunk body. My limp, unresponsive, vulnerable body. And I assume he raped me and my body "until completion", because I woke up when he groaned. So, let's recap: he raped my passed-out-drunk, unresponsive and defenceless body until he came. Who decided to do that? He did. So, let's be clear. I made the decision to get passed-out-drunk with my buddy. What does that make me? Maybe bad with booze. A party animal? I do not carry a shred of responsibility for his decision to do those things to me. He DECIDED to use my vulnerability to rape me. To add: let's explore what happened after me and my rapist after my rape, shall we? He slept. I woke up during the night, and felt dirty, so showered his sweat and stuff off me. I scrubbed and scrubbed. I was still drunk and went to bed. He was still snoring there. Hungover the next morning and still a little drunk, I drove him home. When I got home, I felt anxious and still dirty. The word "rape" flashed in my mind. But then I told myself: "I was drunk. I took him to myself. I was asking for trouble." I tried to forget about it. That night and for a few nights after that, I slept on my couch with me dogs. I couldn't look at my bed. A few months later, I read @Jen_Thorpe 's work during the 16 Days of Activism against women and child abuse. The word "rape" flashed in my mind again. But this time it stayed. He raped me. It's been there ever since. What happened to the rapist? He walked free. Why? I was afraid no one would believe me, that it was my fault. Because I decided to get drunk. I waited two years before I told mutual friends of mine and my friend the rapist, even though I had long before gone public with my story. What did our mutual friends do? They raged. And they remained friends with him. They still are. One friend hugged my rapist in font of me before dinner. I had to go to he bathroom I cry in fear and anger. The other friend told me he would only drop the rapist if I confronted him or lay a charge with the police. Because it's "not real" if I didn't confront him or lay a charge. "I can't drop my friend of 12 years without a reason," he told me. Why do you think they did that? Stay friends with my rapist? Because a) they didn't believe me and/or b) it wasn't "real rape". Why? Because I was drunk and didn't lay a charge. And what happened to my rapist? Fuck all. He didn't even get ostracized by those that knew he was a rapist. What happened to my friends? Well, they condoned the actions of a rapist by remaining friends with him. So I dropped them. And me? I ended up with PTSD in a clinic, where the first nurse to admit me told me "if you weren't drunk you wouldn't have been raped". Every time you insensitive assholes put responsibility on rape survivors not to be drunk/high/out on that street etc you are blaming them. If you make "accountability" a survivor's problem, you render a rapist less accountable. And you should be ashamed of yourself. Police and health workers often deny services to survivors because it wasn't real rape, because s/he was drunk or didn't lay a charge.

@AwkwardlyH: Its hard asking a rape victim to "report the rape" when the cops, judges and presidents are rapists.

Kay Sexwale ‏@kaysexwale I am a mother of two boys. I speak to them about gender equality and gender based violence. Learning starts at home. #speakoutSA

marang setshwaelo ‏@marangdream Please understand that as a man, you are central in ending the scourge of rape. You need to speak out. Talk to your peers. #SpeakOUTSA. @WyzeeQue: Here's a rule of thumb: if you're not sure if consent is given, DON'T! Simple

Siyanda-Panda ‏@SiyandaWrites I can never form the words to explain how I feel about my TL being covered in women's rape experiences. I am literally in tears. It really makes me sad. That rape appears to be a woman's issue. But it is not. EVERYONE should be talking about it.

@AmeeraBlitz: What's sad is every single person on my TL knows someone or is someone that has been assaulted, raped, defiled..

Gugu Carter-Knowles ‏@GugsM The worst & most powerful thing all the people who have violated me told me was that I caused it. And then society tells you the same. Suka. And the "at least he didn't kill you/at least you survived" brigade, you're not helping. When you survive you often wish they had killed you

The Beast. I fear The Beast that gorges itself on the dreams of its young. Ripping through closed flesh to impregnate his daughter as he did his wife. The rape of a continent goes on. The rape of a continent goes on. I fear the silence which weighs down the conscience of innocence and sings the praises of the guilty. The Beast swells, toxic. Oozing greed and despair it slides down aisles of doubt licking the eyeballs of dreamers, Blinding them with fear and poison dreams of anarchy.