Blessed be the hours darkest before the light

i lose and struggle to find myself amongst entangled strands of chaos

tricks of the light mirror surreal reality

i choke on words unsaid in this underworld of loss and loneliness

the emptiness runs deep

and the desire is strong

the light is the brightest in the darkest hour of night

and i have learned that i cannot trust myself

and i have learnt that i cannot trust myself

and thus i fear these idle hands will strangle strange dreams of technicolour moments

i fear that when called to testify in the light my voice will fail to free me

i fear that when given the chance i will chose not to speak

i fear that i will become less than i am

i fear my fears are no more than the ashes of burnt dreams

i fear i might never remember

i fear i might never forget

i fear everything will change

i fear everything will remain the same

i fear the blood of the innocent

i fear the unbearable weight of guilt

i fear the truth

i fear the animal in human nature

i fear the indistinctness of darkness

i fear the clarity of noon

i fear scalding disappointment

i fear that my mind is scarred

i fear that i give life to my fears

i fear i have an affinity for tragedy

i fear the thunder less than the rain

i fear the faith required to sit alone in prayer

i fear the greed and lust of power

i fear the hunger of the helpless

i fear my own inadequacies

i fear blank pages and running out of words

i fear the demand for origional creativity

i fear political apathy

i fear our water is poison

i fear i am becoming a different person

i fear i am too lazy to live and too unprepared to de

i fear the sleep tricks of my eyes

i fear the dragon inside